Heart Talk

Today is the day of Thanksgiving. My heart is full. I keep looking around and seeing so much to be thankful for. You see my heart is full for those struggling, but refuse to be be defeated. To fight when there’s barely hope to hang on. To work towards things because they believe it can happen.

Some of my favorite videos to watch is of those who have physical limitation and overcame. I cry because its *hard*, its *painful*, and yet they do it anyways. A smidge of an increase of movement is considered a major victory. I cry when babies heard for the first time, because I remember the very first time *I heard* my mama whisper “I love you.” I cry when someone involved in an accident and doctors were concern they would’t walk again and the patient proved them wrong. I cry when a father and a mother fought to have a child and they succeed regardless whether through adoption or otherwise. I cry when people shout encouragements and stubborn refuse to let go of someone because they believe in them so much. The person, yelled at in encouragement, at the very end, weak from exhaustion looks up to see they’re past the finish line.

The videos of military coming home to families makes me weep. The ones of animals hugging their owners after absent I can’t help the warm feelings. Children running to the ones they love and whom love back make my heart smile like no other. I love seeing those who deserve honor and respect be given that gift.

You see, this year has been me finding blessings anywhere and everywhere I can. It has been hard for so many. It’s ridiculously easy to not count the blessings, eerily easier to get lost in oneself. I know. In these days time I lean hard on God on what is healthy boundaries of making sure I’m healthy and still help people. I no longer believe that you have to sacrifice both for long periods of times. For clarity context, I’m not talking about unhealthy conveniences we do things out of guilt. Rather about what we do and should do things that are not always convenience because it will better the lives around us. Sacrificing (long term) mental, physical, and spiritual health to stay on someones good side isn’t humbling or helpful…its destructive. It.will.tear.you.apart…and the ones you love and not for the reasons you think.

One of the healthiest ways to keep you healthy is to stay in a grace filled gospel of Jesus Christ church. It has been hugely inconvenience to come to church these days, no lie there. And truth be told due to exhaustion and distance of 1+ hours that could potentially be destructive due to operating a 2 + ton vehicle, there have been a couple of times we did not because it was safer if we did not. However, we’ve never regretted showing up and loving what is ours.

Love what is yours. Not what you think is yours or what you want to be yours. But what God has placed right there to be yours and you know it. When you love what is yours you find yourself giving praise and thanks no matter how hard or light the season it is.

In every season…give thanks.

A Grateful Heart

At the time of writing I have been displaced from my home for three or is it now four weeks. Those weeks honestly feel like months. There’s been so much goodness. But there’s been some really really hard days.

Anyone who does constructions DIY or professionally knows that once you get started there’s often more problems that have arisen. So it has been with my home. It started with #allwewantedwasanewdeck. We had plans for October, big plans. We were to host our first ever retreat at our home, host our neighbors over for helloween, and start tackling the 10 mile lists of people we wanted over for supper. Hospitality ya’ll is our love language.

We went from gathering once a week with close friends to being moved every 3 days to a week. I’ve started counted up the travel time in the last three weeks I’ve traveled at least 60+ hours—by car. Our pets remain at our home because theres literally no where for them to go. I hate being separated from them. I hated not having people over and it was hard at first to see all the hospitality and classes we were going to do not happen but others were. But every day I made a point to count my blessings.

Everyday I reminded myself where I saw God working His goodness. We’re (the six of us) moving to a hotel (potentially) in the next few weeks…maybe over the course of a couple of months with a few trips back home. Not sure, for everything is up in the air. I’ve learned it doesn’t hurt to prepare for the worst right now, but expect and hope for the best. On that note, you know there’s so much goodness! We’re together, we won’t be traveling as much, our pets will be with us, I’ll have an actual bed consistently (my airbed has been great, but I still prefer real ones), we will be in our hometown and we’ll have a roof over our heads.

Another blessing is that we have been trying to declutter. This definitely helps with the stuff. We’ve moved so much in the past few weeks that we’ve learned to live without. Of course…we do shuttle things back and forth in full discloser. When we do finally move back home I’d imagine that we’re really going to be able to let go of things. We’ve known for years what our priorities are. Maybe how we do them has changed, but what we believe has only been made stronger. Our family motto is :

God first

Family Second

Others third

Cheryl Damron

When we focus on Christ, we find blessings in our circumstances. •Side note- God has been blessing us all the way through. I’m certainly NOT advocating that if we behave a certain way that He will bless us. I’m saying when I have put my focus on Him I have found the gifts He’s already given, is giving, and expecting will be gifts. This is from personal relationship with Him. Naturally my behavior will have consequences both good or bad and fruit will be born from the action (or no action). •End side note. I’ve decided if we’re away from home for Christmas (I doubt it, but I wouldn’t be surprise)…I’m finding a 2 foot tree and sticking it on a table. Our stockings will be hung on a table. And we’re going to be together which is all that matters for Christmas anyways. We’ll sing Christmas Carols and play games. Have an adventure doing a Christmas meal (gluten-free) and be content along with Merry because we’re together.

Before this even started we had decided to make this an experience Christmas. We’re doing just that. In fact…we have our first thing we’ll be doing the week before Christmas. Now…before you get on to me about Thanksgiving I’ve not forgotten. But I’ve been counting my blessing everyday. It’s been an everyday thanksgiving. Since I dislike thanksgiving dinner (don’t go throwing them turkey legs at me okay?) and would rather do Chinese…I’m not at all mad about postponing it. But friends have graciously offered the use of their kitchen in town and their company. Mom loves to cook and they love her food. It’s a win win win. Won’t be on Thanksgiving I’d imagine, but will be soon. We’re visiting family later on and it will be a sweet time.

Giving thanks, being with friends and family, and having good food- well that’s a pretty big part of the special day isn’t.

Living quietly, but full of adventures

My adventures are different these days and yet life fill me. I own my own business and its been hard at work behind scenes shifting things, pivoting, and launching big dreams. Coming to grips of treating my business with a business mindset not a hobbit mindset. Someone pointed that to me very graciously unbeknownst to them and things have begun to shift in such good ways. At the same time I’ve put in a noticed at a job (my exit is a very slow and many months out) and told another I’m limited in what I can do at least in this season.

I sleep…and I sleep a lot. My goal is at least 8-9 hours a night…all THROUGH the night no cat naps. Take naps during the day from 10-20 mins. They have been my fuel. Reading and writing has moved to a high priority on my list and my watching tv shows has decreased drastically. The tv shows are replaced by workshops and online classes…keeping it real here. I’ve made the hard decision to put my phone across the room most nights around 9:30 and won’t pick it up until after my excising is done around 7:30am…unless I’m going for a walk. I’m hoping that I can keep this up.

That’s not adventurous Christina…that’s normal life. When you’ve lived for the past 8 years so spontaneous a life that there was no routine except fatigue, going to church on Sundays, the *never ending* projects at home along with it accompany of messes all the dang time and trusting that bills will somehow get paid…and the meager savings for actual *fun* traveling doesn’t get used for emergency…this is an adventure. Sorry for the run on sentence, forgive me this once? Anyways- trust me…getting a Ducans Coffee to me was if you had treated me out to Chris Ruth. The bright side in the mounds of messes I learned how to create beauty. I was stubborn in cultivating beauty in the midst of construction and mess. Grief was slowly ebbing back and life was pushed forward. For months… I was slowly waking up. Then it came fast and hard because I was trying to ignore to what I was waking up to.I realized the statement may confuse you. In other-words I was trying to have it both ways…Grind all day but not fully commit to the things tugging on my heart. Creating with beauty had begun the awakening but its not the complete story. What made it real? My accident from a wreck that could have been avoid had not fatigue won.

Boundaries came fast and hard. I’ve remained unmoved. The result? I’ve laughed more. Seriously. I’ve played more. And I went back to what I’m known for. I went back to jumping off deep cliffs simply because I heard my Father say I could…trusting, unflinching, and absolutely loving it. But first I had to battle, and battle hard. Here’s the thing depression and exhaustion are easily closed in similarities. I wondered if I was depressed, but I still light up at the things that made me happy. I simply could not focus for more than 5 minutes on anything serious. For once I understand and have compassion for those who felt they couldn’t get out of bed. Mine was because my pain was great.

Stripped of bravery masks, I allowed myself to be brutally emotionally honest. Yet…I never once berated myself or anyone else. I fought. By rest. By Play. By laughter. By reading His word. By investing in relationships. By saying no. By saying yes. By owning what is mine…and letting go of my own and everyone else opinion real or otherwise. That last sentence. Re-read that. I had to own what was mine- what God gave me not what I wanted or longed for- but what was mine in the moment and let go of my own opinions and others…real or otherwise. That meant letting go of pasts…of all the no’s and the unknown anger I had within me that had fueled my fight to push back. To stand on ground of unbrokenness….meant I had to leave mirage of the the ground appearing broken and let it go. I say appearing…because my ground can never be shaken. Not when we’re in Christ and have a personal relationship with Him.

But this took time and still is taking time. I’ve learned if God has already said yes than why the heck am I still asking? If I have His approval…then why should my opinion or anyone else’s matter? By the way…I’m NOT saying don’t be accountable, or fail to listen to wise counsel or be a heel. That would be taking what I’m saying out of context. I’m saying there’s nothing to stop you if God has said “yes”. I had to shed things I didn’t know I had. The reasons why I do things…or don’t do things.

This I have a feeling will be a life long lesson. When I write here I don’t have a consistent date I’m writing by. Mostly, because in the season I was that was a luxury I know I could not make. I felt at the time it was better to at least write…then not at all. I’ve long ago learned not to do series…as hard as I try I simply don’t finish them out. So I work with my strength while working on my weakness. I either make it complete on it own…or I write it all together and separate them out. But I show up writing whether once every few months or once a week. I’ve simplified.

Before signing off…I do note I am well aware of showing up consistently on a particular date is wise. But I also know the wisdom of knowing how to commit. So I’ve committed to writing that I hope encourages you, inspires you, and perhaps challenges you in the good ways. To write when I’m in a place where I can respond and not react, because you’re worth reading from someone who’s determined to write from a well soul whether in sorrow or in joy. That’s what I’m committed to…

Over thinker maybe?

“Life is busy, shew.” Everyone *hears* that. Everyone *gets* that. Sad to say there’s no easy way to have a simple life…that I’ve found. It takes work and disciplined . Also developing thick skin for all the people you’re bound to disappoint, for those who want to please people. In fact as I’m writing this, I’ve got 10 mins before my next block of work. I do block of times so far it seems to work for me…kinda like batching things. But here’s the thing a long time ago I used to be a type b personality. I loved me some spontaneousness. The older I get? Not so much • well unless its fun. But most of my spontaneousness revolves around work and they’re usually long hours. Not so cool.

But now days, I must be careful in how I do my timings. As mentioned above I’ve got well…now about 9 mins and something counting. I’m serious as a … whatever the idiom is for that. I digress.

What’s the secret to NOT over thinking? Well it’s actually very very simple. Yet at the same time incredibly hard. Those wiser than I will already be shouting the words…I can hear them. Rest and surrendering to Jesus. In fact: when I’m agitated, truth be told sadly at least this week has been often. That tells me I’m not surrendered to Him, I’m not resting in Him. And the question to be asked is…am I in His will doing the things He wants done in the timing He wants done? I’ve learned to ask this question gently towards myself.

Perhaps you are not this way, but I am. I used often harsh and sometimes even cruel to myself in certain areas…mostly work ethics. Holding myself to a standard that not even God holds me to. Now I’m not saying not to have standard nor be lacking of manners. I am saying if my standards aren’t Gods standards for me then I need to shift. Put my focus back on Him.

4 mins left and I’m surprised at the deepness of my thoughts. Sometimes overthinking is a good thing. But often for me it isn’t. Why? Because I try to over prepare or I make a bigger deal out of all the details skewing the reality. Most importantly, I take my eyes off Christ.

By the way I’m talking of truly over thinking. Sometimes other thinking causes pain unnecessarily for others, it at the very least robs yourself of freedom of rest and happiness. I’m not discussing never being agitated for the right reasons, angry because its good (yes, I believe anger to be healthy in certain contexts), to grieve or anything else we might deemed “negative”. We are emotional creators that is how God designed us. But He also teaches us to control in a healthy manner our emotions. That sentence right there? That’s what I’m referring to.

My time is up, but I don’t regret taking this brief time to talk with you. One last thing…overthinking for a trip = overpacking which leads to exhaustion. I know this from experience. It’s not fun. Setting a reminder in my phone to tell you the stories from trips, but please forgive me if I forget to circle back. Much love to you and I’ll chat with you soon.

Are you dating?

A popular question that I’ve discovered particularly married people (so it seems) like to ask. A few years ago, I kid you not I all of the sudden got hounded by dating sites. I’m not exactly sure where they came from as there’s been no conversation and absolutely no searching for anything around the word dating. Especially since at that time I had recently come home from over seas, dealing with acute heartbreak it came close to tearing my family apart, and mourning the loss of someone I love, on top of seeing the warning signs of loosing more friendships in the years to come on the horizon though I tried to ignore the signs within a span of 3 months.

I was asked this a few days after my birthday in 2020. My answer surprised me instead of my usual short and sweet answer of “No” I did my other favorite. “Not yet”. Why is this surprising? You asked.

Because except a handful of times which usually has many months in between I haven’t even wanted to date. To hear the words “Not Yet” indicated I was open to it at the point in time. I’ve finally settled for well if God brings him then He will enable us together to charter my/his crazy life. However, it will have to be Him clearly marking it up because I don’t want to “squeeze” in a relationship…it would be far better to savor it, have fun, and enjoy the journey.

You see I for the most part (aside from the rare occasions) am quite happy to be single. There is so much to do as a single person. So much life to live. I’ve always heard about marriage life, but rarely do I hear of single life living fully, happily, and with satisfaction.

Will I get married? I have no clue. Part of me wonders if I’d be happier single, I’m such an independent person with dreams and goals. Yet…the other part of me wants to give a go if the opportunity arises. Sometimes being open is the best adventure.

But unless God tells me otherwise I have no plans of “seeking” a husband via virtual or otherwise. If God okays it…he can simply come into my life…or not. I am happy either way.

For those whom may wonder…I was soon in a situation where I had to stand on the words I wrote. Being open to a relationship. I have discovered I do love being single…and being open to something new is akin to me flying without a harness in this area. In case your mind is jumping too far ahead…reel it back in. There’s a difference in realizing being open vs…hurdling head first in. I am still very very much single and still very very much loving being one. It will take a man so in love with Christ and daily walking in relationship + calling with Him, for me to even think about giving up my single card. That’s the line right there and there is *no* exception. I would expect no less from him for me.

Christmas is a love story

For most of us, we’ve heard it…but has it really sunk in? That Christmas beyond what might be silly and perhaps to some childish is actually a love story. We play, decorate, sing songs, and our spirit perhaps higher than all year ’round hold feasts in celebration of one who loves us the most. He certainly didn’t have much to celebrate considering why He came…but yet He did because of that exact reason.

The dirty manager didn’t upset, the cold night stirring against human flesh He bore. Why would He come? This strange tale of God became human for one reason. To set right was wronged so personal relationships to be (re)established as it should have always been as it always was intended.

Nothing could stop Him from coming and nothing could prevent the way it happened. Born in a manager in a cave because of all things…money + taxes + accounting for the people. Irony was not lost on me… but I digress.

The lowest places became the highest because of His presence. Shepherds and Kings alike came to visit. The wise men were kings of vast treasure and men of knowledge traveling for, what I understand, years in large caravans. It wasn’t a day trip as the fact was they (wise men) didn’t even find Him until He was a toddler. I am fascinated by the two groups…they both took care of what was theirs. They BOTH were working and they BOTH had directions. Not a one was left out. One had a star and the other angels + plus star. And both glorified him. The rich and the poor. One took longer and the other was that very night the Son of God was born.

I find it interesting that it was very likely different cultures were represented with the wise men. Actually, I really find it interesting these men took great pains and disciplined to even travel to find out what the star was and they *heard* clearly from God to return home a different way. Perhaps more accurately is I find the whole birth to be a fascinating turn of events. It doesn’t remotely make sense when you really think about it…and yet it totally does.

Every year my Papa reads the story near or on Christmas and every year I find myself thinking on this miracle event that seems so natural and unnatural in its right. Jesus fully God and fully man came forsaking everything and yet at the same time forsaking nothing because He already knew the outcome- His point was relationship between the Father and His people. To eradicate once and for all, the sin that separated causing the wrath that was to come on us to end with Him. It started in the beginning…just as the Father breathed life into this world knowing the chasm of separation would happen very soon after and already had a plan.

His son, Jesus, born into human flesh would be the start of breaking that chasm which was never supposed to be there in the first place and fulfilling promises made from the very beginning starting with the 1st of Man. We celebrate Christmas because of Jesus. There’s a lot to celebrate, we have joy, strength, cause of dancing, decorating, singing, and all the things because of the greatest love that ever came down. Jesus…the sweetest name.

Around The Bend

Seems like that’s a popular saying around where I am. “It’s just around the bend. Around the corner. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” Etc. No doubt you’ve heard something similar. It got me thinking…well there’s a lot that I’m thinking honestly, but specifically it got me thinking on hope.

How hope is both for the now and the future. But hope can not exist in the past. The past is gone even a second later…there is absolutely no way to live it physically though often the mind goes there. Hope for the presence is what keeps the mundan tasks cranking because there’s the hope for tomorrow. Hope where presences and future are joined together.

For the first time in years I have an office where you can see the floor. It has been been a wild ride. Have you have been in a situation where you keep working on something but you really don’t see the results for well in this case years and then all of the sudden…that last 45 minutes of cleaning you have a beautiful result? I equate hope similar to that. Where we keep at something because we believe that there’s a better future or something beautiful that will come of it.

Being a single lady I have been surprised by just how much I’ve had to fight for hope. Most often fighting for it means letting go…releasing. I know…I know… it sounds like opposite. But what I am talking of is emotions of the past and expectation of *how* it should look or come together. Hope allows us to breathe and rest in the safety of expecting something good. In order for that to happen…that means working on like the office and while it is clean the results are far better than I hoped because I was willing to shift how to do things, keep in mind what was working and what was not, to let go of expected timelines, and discover what was beautiful all the way around.

As time goes on you will see how much I value both spontaneousness and organization. I *love* friends calling me out of the blue for coffee- I dislike triping over a mess on the floor that could have easily been put away. I enjoy creating and even making messes…but I do not particularly want to dig through four boxes to find supplies for creating. See the difference? What does this have to do with hope?

Well…in a very roundabout way its my way of stating be flexible for hoping for something and yet allowing a path for it work. Hope is above all things not idle.

Survival or Thrivable

When I began writing this I was working weird hours. This is an excerpt from weeks ago- but I thought it might still be of encouragement.

Waking up 5ish- and writing at 10:06 from a restless night sleep for the third night in a row- set to have another late night BUT not I hope restless. As you can imagine sleep deprivation is a serious thing for me it usually results with a sleep migraine. One I’m currently sporting. I promise I have a point here…hang in with me alright?

My dog that I’m currently dog sitting loves to give me exercise. In the form of constantly getting up every 20 minutes or so. Had I not desperately needed sleep so I wouldn’t be cranky and be nonsensical all day I’d stay up. Then I did decide around 7:30ish to simply stay up.

Now…I’ve long ago recognized something when I’m exhausted. Thus the lead up to my story will now make sense. I tend to compare myself…hard core. It’s definitely a weak spot when I’m so tired. That’s when it comes. Today it came with a wrecking ball.

That wrecking ball almost made me throw in the towel…on several things. My business which is starting to thrive. Trying to finish projects at the house I swear it’s like a conveyor belts….those projects just keep on coming and seems like they’re bigger every time. But the one that really hurt was the one I’ve been trying to help for years and see it in my tired bleary mind start to crumble.

It started with a Facebook post meant to encourage. It did the complete opposite. I remind you once more…exhaustion is a weak spot for me to compare. When I saw the works of their hands in so many of their life keep growing- I felt stabbed in the chest. It *seemed* everywhere they turned they were mightily blessed. Why weren’t we like that? Our house keeps on having issues, one business felt in that moment doomed and the other barely making ends meet. Then I reflect on them, the people I compared myself to. I realized I wasn’t fair to myself or to them. They’ve had *hard* years. They took things off their plates and started to build a little at a time- so much wisdom there. A luxury my family and I haven’t had though we’ve tried.

So I decided…well I can choose to have a bad attitude about it OR I can start counting my blessings. I *know* the hard work that goes into making a purposeful beautiful life. I found when I started to choose to see all the good things in their life, I recognized how much it also meant to others and to myself. My heart began to leap for gladness and excitement at their new adventure.

However, I didn’t stop there. It is good to recognize the goodness poured out it is needed to be recognized for others. We can celebrate, laugh, and enjoy life despite and with hard things. Isn’t that part of what makes a beautiful relationship?

I started seeing the beautiful things in my own life. The things I’m very grateful for. Yes, there’s a business that’s struggling what business doesn’t? But the lives that have been touched by what it does?….There’s no price on that.

So is my life a bed of roses I hope not…the roses have thorns. But have I cultivated a few roses in my life and been pricked by the thorns. Yes. Quite a few times (literally and figuratively) actually and I keep carefully growing my space of beauty regardless of the few pricks.

That should be everyone’s story. To recognize the hard, beautiful, and good things are worth cultivating. To love what is theirs that God has given to them and to rejoice in the favor He pours out on others. Because my friends whatever blessing you get and whatever blessing others get- if we rejoices together then a little bit of all of it trickles down to you and I together. What a beautiful life that is.

How quick time doth pass

I hadn’t expected months to pass as quickly as they did but they have. Seems almost simply a day as in one day. Four months shoved into a day. What a life.

One of the things I prayed for is that the days would seem longer, sweeter, and to help me take time to do things that matter. To take time for rest and play. He’s answered those prayers but not in the way I was “thinking”. Isn’t that like Him? To completely answer prayers but in a way very unexpectedly.

My days are sweeter. My birthday was two weeks ago. Every morning I had no expectations but to simply enjoy the day and play. I rested. Well as much as my organizational self would quit cleaning.

For the first time we did a successful staycation. My hope was to be out of the country for the third time for my 30th. There’s something special about that. But it didn’t happened. Truthfully I allowed myself to cry when the beach trip got cancelled- that was the back up to the out of the country. It lasted 10 mins and I told myself to let it go. I’d have an a amazing birthday but I needed to let go of expectation. So I did.

It proved to be much much sweeter than had I gone out of the country or to the beach. It would have been sweet to say I was out for the third time on my birthday for my 30. But it would have meant I would have missed out on something that would mean much much more to me. Achievements have nothing on relationships unless you do them together. I spent time with people who love me and whom I love back. I’m big on family. I’m big on healthy relationships. I’m big on hanging out with my family and friends together. Make no mistake I love hanging out one on one that is my favorite kind- but I also love hanging out with my family and friends. I have been exceedingly blessed that my family are my best friends. As strange as it may be in today’s world I can’t imagine nor desire not having them being the friends they are.

While I admit the days really do not seem to be longer I’ve noticed I’ve taken more time to read. The cleaning have left unfinished while I’ve gone outside to admire the sunsets. The phone calls? I’ve made them driving back and forth between my jobs or simply sat enjoying friendship. I’m not trying to fill every nook and cranny. Oh and I’m getting my 8+ hours of sleep. Cramming my life full simply hasn’t been worth it I was getting sick. The sick that would take me months to recover from the sick that was two steps from a mental breakdown and quitting all together. So…I sought the Lord in the months of Oct to Dec of 2019. Still I seek Him intentionally making sure I work and play…simply with Him being my focus.

Life is full to the brim and I remind myself to sit down and rest. There are days I slip back and actually to be truthful there are day I know it would just be a longer day. But I specifically have a day to rest and play after or just before because it’s that important. I’ve learned and am learning to batch things. To have dedicated behind the computer (or phone days). Work outside when possible. Travel as often as I can and work wherever. I’ve started to treat work with the mindset of play…and working that fits my style.

Owning a business I have is a luxury. But by the same token I also have to be disciplined In getting the work done. I’ve started to draw a very real line between personal work and business work. Except for reading that I can mix with ease considering the types of books I enjoy reading. I mean I love business books so that’s an all around win.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is God is changing my mindsets on things. He’s helping me throughout the day take in the simple beauties and joys. He’s helping me learn how to make my work days behind the computer not be always long and tedious. He’s helping me learning that though the days are incredibly short that in the moments there is rest.

The year is almost half over and I have been grateful to see that my prayers and seeking doing the things that help with a more slower pace of life has happened. I’ve invited beauty and fun in and hustle with stress out. My friends…it’s still a work in progress but it’s an encouraging one. On my list right now I’m reading is Work Simply by Carson Tate. I started it a whole back and restarted it. I’ve not finished it but I’ve been given much to think about. But honestly there is work in living simply that’s all there is to it. But my what a work- it allows for the important relationships and things that matter to take their proper places.


As a single adult women one must be a sobbing mess and in desperate need of chocolate and a vacation on what we call today “Valentine.” Not. Permit me if I may speak to my fellow singles. You, my beautiful courageous friends can make this day- a day not one of misery- but one of great memories.

Celebrate it full force as a women who loves fiercely her tribe and even extend beyond on this day. Take this day a day of friendships and spend time specifically blessing your friends. Consider taking this valentine as a beautiful challenge of having fun for yourself, celebrating the incredible friendship you have, and be a friend to someone else. Invite friends for coffee, support them in a game, or if distance separates you…send an old fashion method of snail mail. On this day, release them from expectations on how to be a friend and simply be a friend to them.

Being in a relationship is beautiful and I’m not saying don’t be. However, if your reason for being in a relationship is because you don’t want to be alone- that is a terrible reason. It’s not fair to either one of you and it doesn’t fulfill that loneliness. A human can’t fix the heart only give an illusion of being healed. Allow yourself to have fun being single. Don’t be afraid to go on adventures and love life building rich communities, laughing until you cry and surprise people in aaaaaallll the good ways that leaves smiles on on their faces. Take risks and go to work making your dreams come alive. There is such joy in the this journey as long as you are willing to live it.

Being single is a gift. Please please please do not waste your gift by hanging it on a peg because you don’t want to be single. Invest in this time in creating a life that only you can live. You, my beautiful friend are worth living life that full of abundance, beauty, and adventurous.