There’s many many thoughts rolling in my head of late. The kinds I’ve needed to think through and ponder on. The ones that have given me aha’s whether I’ve discovered I’ve needed to change my way of things or confirmation of being on the right track. This season has me taking step back and considering can I truly do this meaning is it mine to do in this season, later, or at all? Or are the thoughts I’m considering penning here…would they encourage others? This one particular piece I hope does…it has been one mulling in my brain almost 12 years.
I’ve heard it a thousand times in my life…the highest calling as a woman is to be a mother. It has been ingrained with me. That is *my* highest calling. Being a mother is amazing. I applaud the women who are. It is a sacred calling. A high calling. One that can only be fulfilled…by a woman. I consider motherhood to be one of the highest ones there is in terms of callings. There is a great, great respect for mothers bringing in life into this world and rearing them up.
However, it is NOT the greatest calling. BEFORE you hit me Mamas with the cast iron. Please allow me to ask questions as a single woman who is both husbandless, and childless.
If I were to remain childless for the rest of my life, then would I have failed as a woman to obtain the highest calling?
Think on it for a moment. What happens to the mother who can’t bring children to the world? Is she then forced to adopt or foster in order to receive this highest calling?
I will confess I am a bit jade perhaps. Well meaning women have said this to me, I’ve never had to guts except once and that didn’t go well at all- surprisingly it in a conversation to another single woman pinning for a husband and children. Please don’t mistake me, I am all for marriage and I am all for children. However, I am talking of the highest calling this is the context.
Callings are in response in obedience to what God has called you to do…or to be. Motherhood isn’t a job….it is a calling. You can’t put a price on it. It is incredibly stupid to try, because the worth of what mothers do can’t be calculated. There is a deep need for mothers ( and spiritual mothers) and the want is high for good mothers as well. I deeply respect, admire, and give great honor to them. But while mother’s never stop being a mother that is forever their name… their seasons of rearing children will come to an end. Although, they will be, I pray in their lives, having very healthy relationships, their children need them in different ways as they fly on their own. What then? It’s finished. What happens next?
Their greatest calling comes next just like it was before they were mothers. The callings that God has placed on them. To be His all throughout times. To do what He has called them to do…being a mother or otherwise. That’s the greatest calling…having that personal relationship with Him and walking in the calling(s) He has placed on you and I.
Personal confession, I have zero desire for my own children. Nada. It took me a very long time to get over the guilt ( try 10 years). Yet, I love children…deeply love the children whom I’m privileged to have in my life. They are treasures and the ones that I get to love on, fiercely protective of, I pray for and am humbled that their parents trust me. God simply hadn’t given me that desire. To force it, to lie about it, isn’t glorifying Him. Yet! I also know that if He gifted them to me…I’d do my absolute best and I’d love them terribly much. Or if He every put a child on my heart to foster or adopt…then my heart for the child will swell with much love and pride. In that moment, in that season that is a higher calling is being a mother. But I can’t forget the highest calling is to be His.
A friend who longs for children, it is a cry of her heart, at this season has not been given any. Why? I don’t know. I mourn alongside with her. But am rejoicing that she is walking with grace and integrity, she is stepping out as she is waiting into gifting and callings. She is not being a parked car wailing and complaining of her misfortune. No. As she waits, even as she grieves fighting with hope for her desires, she is being a willing vessel. Her actions have been a sources of comfort, encouragement, and strength. I consider She is in this very moment operating in her highest calling.
From several mothers who have lost their little ones…they have courage beyond anyone I know. To celebrate new life when they just lost own…is the bravest, most selfless, and still remain a very real mark of a mother. I wish I can find words of how much I admire them, their courage, how they have shaped my life because they cried their tears but still….saw. They saw life. They saw others and celebrate the littles despite the wrench in their own hearts. To me that is a mark of truest courage. I hope they know they’re not alone…never ever alone. Their love makes a difference…it has for me.
Mothers are so so so needed, and so desired. While I cannot love, like a mother with her own children…I’ve learned love from them. What a calling. What a gift.
“You’re taking this waaay, too literal Christina.” someone might say.”It’s only semantics of wording”. Perhaps I am and perhaps it is. I will concede to that. I have much to learn and no doubt there will be disagreement on this topic.
Yet, I know I am the happiest when I am walking in my Father’s Will no matter how hard it may be. What defines me in my identity is whom God has called me. My callings may have seasons, but the highest one, greatest one never has seasons it is for all entirety of time. To accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of my life and doing what He has called me to do…or to be. My prayer is that you walk in whatever season you’re in, in the calling He has called you never forgetting He is the highest calling.