Christina Damron

My adventures are different these days and yet life fill me. I own my own business and its been hard at work behind scenes shifting things, pivoting, and launching big dreams. Coming to grips of treating my business with a business mindset not a hobbit mindset. Someone pointed that to me very graciously unbeknownst to them and things have begun to shift in such good ways. At the same time I’ve put in a noticed at a job (my exit is a very slow and many months out) and told another I’m limited in what I can do at least in this season.

I sleep…and I sleep a lot. My goal is at least 8-9 hours a night…all THROUGH the night no cat naps. Take naps during the day from 10-20 mins. They have been my fuel. Reading and writing has moved to a high priority on my list and my watching tv shows has decreased drastically. The tv shows are replaced by workshops and online classes…keeping it real here. I’ve made the hard decision to put my phone across the room most nights around 9:30 and won’t pick it up until after my excising is done around 7:30am…unless I’m going for a walk. I’m hoping that I can keep this up.

That’s not adventurous Christina…that’s normal life. When you’ve lived for the past 8 years so spontaneous a life that there was no routine except fatigue, going to church on Sundays, the *never ending* projects at home along with it accompany of messes all the dang time and trusting that bills will somehow get paid…and the meager savings for actual *fun* traveling doesn’t get used for emergency…this is an adventure. Sorry for the run on sentence, forgive me this once? Anyways- trust me…getting a Ducans Coffee to me was if you had treated me out to Chris Ruth. The bright side in the mounds of messes I learned how to create beauty. I was stubborn in cultivating beauty in the midst of construction and mess. Grief was slowly ebbing back and life was pushed forward. For months… I was slowly waking up. Then it came fast and hard because I was trying to ignore to what I was waking up to.I realized the statement may confuse you. In other-words I was trying to have it both ways…Grind all day but not fully commit to the things tugging on my heart. Creating with beauty had begun the awakening but its not the complete story. What made it real? My accident from a wreck that could have been avoid had not fatigue won.

Boundaries came fast and hard. I’ve remained unmoved. The result? I’ve laughed more. Seriously. I’ve played more. And I went back to what I’m known for. I went back to jumping off deep cliffs simply because I heard my Father say I could…trusting, unflinching, and absolutely loving it. But first I had to battle, and battle hard. Here’s the thing depression and exhaustion are easily closed in similarities. I wondered if I was depressed, but I still light up at the things that made me happy. I simply could not focus for more than 5 minutes on anything serious. For once I understand and have compassion for those who felt they couldn’t get out of bed. Mine was because my pain was great.

Stripped of bravery masks, I allowed myself to be brutally emotionally honest. Yet…I never once berated myself or anyone else. I fought. By rest. By Play. By laughter. By reading His word. By investing in relationships. By saying no. By saying yes. By owning what is mine…and letting go of my own and everyone else opinion real or otherwise. That last sentence. Re-read that. I had to own what was mine- what God gave me not what I wanted or longed for- but what was mine in the moment and let go of my own opinions and others…real or otherwise. That meant letting go of pasts…of all the no’s and the unknown anger I had within me that had fueled my fight to push back. To stand on ground of unbrokenness….meant I had to leave mirage of the the ground appearing broken and let it go. I say appearing…because my ground can never be shaken. Not when we’re in Christ and have a personal relationship with Him.

But this took time and still is taking time. I’ve learned if God has already said yes than why the heck am I still asking? If I have His approval…then why should my opinion or anyone else’s matter? By the way…I’m NOT saying don’t be accountable, or fail to listen to wise counsel or be a heel. That would be taking what I’m saying out of context. I’m saying there’s nothing to stop you if God has said “yes”. I had to shed things I didn’t know I had. The reasons why I do things…or don’t do things.

This I have a feeling will be a life long lesson. When I write here I don’t have a consistent date I’m writing by. Mostly, because in the season I was that was a luxury I know I could not make. I felt at the time it was better to at least write…then not at all. I’ve long ago learned not to do series…as hard as I try I simply don’t finish them out. So I work with my strength while working on my weakness. I either make it complete on it own…or I write it all together and separate them out. But I show up writing whether once every few months or once a week. I’ve simplified.

Before signing off…I do note I am well aware of showing up consistently on a particular date is wise. But I also know the wisdom of knowing how to commit. So I’ve committed to writing that I hope encourages you, inspires you, and perhaps challenges you in the good ways. To write when I’m in a place where I can respond and not react, because you’re worth reading from someone who’s determined to write from a well soul whether in sorrow or in joy. That’s what I’m committed to…

“Life is busy, shew.” Everyone *hears* that. Everyone *gets* that. Sad to say there’s no easy way to have a simple life…that I’ve found. It takes work and disciplined . Also developing thick skin for all the people you’re bound to disappoint, for those who want to please people. In fact as I’m writing this, I’ve got 10 mins before my next block of work. I do block of times so far it seems to work for me…kinda like batching things. But here’s the thing a long time ago I used to be a type b personality. I loved me some spontaneousness. The older I get? Not so much • well unless its fun. But most of my spontaneousness revolves around work and they’re usually long hours. Not so cool.

But now days, I must be careful in how I do my timings. As mentioned above I’ve got well…now about 9 mins and something counting. I’m serious as a … whatever the idiom is for that. I digress.

What’s the secret to NOT over thinking? Well it’s actually very very simple. Yet at the same time incredibly hard. Those wiser than I will already be shouting the words…I can hear them. Rest and surrendering to Jesus. In fact: when I’m agitated, truth be told sadly at least this week has been often. That tells me I’m not surrendered to Him, I’m not resting in Him. And the question to be asked is…am I in His will doing the things He wants done in the timing He wants done? I’ve learned to ask this question gently towards myself.

Perhaps you are not this way, but I am. I used often harsh and sometimes even cruel to myself in certain areas…mostly work ethics. Holding myself to a standard that not even God holds me to. Now I’m not saying not to have standard nor be lacking of manners. I am saying if my standards aren’t Gods standards for me then I need to shift. Put my focus back on Him.

4 mins left and I’m surprised at the deepness of my thoughts. Sometimes overthinking is a good thing. But often for me it isn’t. Why? Because I try to over prepare or I make a bigger deal out of all the details skewing the reality. Most importantly, I take my eyes off Christ.

By the way I’m talking of truly over thinking. Sometimes other thinking causes pain unnecessarily for others, it at the very least robs yourself of freedom of rest and happiness. I’m not discussing never being agitated for the right reasons, angry because its good (yes, I believe anger to be healthy in certain contexts), to grieve or anything else we might deemed “negative”. We are emotional creators that is how God designed us. But He also teaches us to control in a healthy manner our emotions. That sentence right there? That’s what I’m referring to.

My time is up, but I don’t regret taking this brief time to talk with you. One last thing…overthinking for a trip = overpacking which leads to exhaustion. I know this from experience. It’s not fun. Setting a reminder in my phone to tell you the stories from trips, but please forgive me if I forget to circle back. Much love to you and I’ll chat with you soon.

A popular question that I’ve discovered particularly married people (so it seems) like to ask. A few years ago, I kid you not I all of the sudden got hounded by dating sites. I’m not exactly sure where they came from as there’s been no conversation and absolutely no searching for anything around the word dating. Especially since at that time I had recently come home from over seas, dealing with acute heartbreak it came close to tearing my family apart, and mourning the loss of someone I love, on top of seeing the warning signs of loosing more friendships in the years to come on the horizon though I tried to ignore the signs within a span of 3 months.

I was asked this a few days after my birthday in 2020. My answer surprised me instead of my usual short and sweet answer of “No” I did my other favorite. “Not yet”. Why is this surprising? You asked.

Because except a handful of times which usually has many months in between I haven’t even wanted to date. To hear the words “Not Yet” indicated I was open to it at the point in time. I’ve finally settled for well if God brings him then He will enable us together to charter my/his crazy life. However, it will have to be Him clearly marking it up because I don’t want to “squeeze” in a relationship…it would be far better to savor it, have fun, and enjoy the journey.

You see I for the most part (aside from the rare occasions) am quite happy to be single. There is so much to do as a single person. So much life to live. I’ve always heard about marriage life, but rarely do I hear of single life living fully, happily, and with satisfaction.

Will I get married? I have no clue. Part of me wonders if I’d be happier single, I’m such an independent person with dreams and goals. Yet…the other part of me wants to give a go if the opportunity arises. Sometimes being open is the best adventure.

But unless God tells me otherwise I have no plans of “seeking” a husband via virtual or otherwise. If God okays it…he can simply come into my life…or not. I am happy either way.

For those whom may wonder…I was soon in a situation where I had to stand on the words I wrote. Being open to a relationship. I have discovered I do love being single…and being open to something new is akin to me flying without a harness in this area. In case your mind is jumping too far ahead…reel it back in. There’s a difference in realizing being open vs…hurdling head first in. I am still very very much single and still very very much loving being one. It will take a man so in love with Christ and daily walking in relationship + calling with Him, for me to even think about giving up my single card. That’s the line right there and there is *no* exception. I would expect no less from him for me.

Seems like that’s a popular saying around where I am. “It’s just around the bend. Around the corner. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” Etc. No doubt you’ve heard something similar. It got me thinking…well there’s a lot that I’m thinking honestly, but specifically it got me thinking on hope.

How hope is both for the now and the future. But hope can not exist in the past. The past is gone even a second later…there is absolutely no way to live it physically though often the mind goes there. Hope for the presence is what keeps the mundan tasks cranking because there’s the hope for tomorrow. Hope where presences and future are joined together.

For the first time in years I have an office where you can see the floor. It has been been a wild ride. Have you have been in a situation where you keep working on something but you really don’t see the results for well in this case years and then all of the sudden…that last 45 minutes of cleaning you have a beautiful result? I equate hope similar to that. Where we keep at something because we believe that there’s a better future or something beautiful that will come of it.

Being a single lady I have been surprised by just how much I’ve had to fight for hope. Most often fighting for it means letting go…releasing. I know…I know… it sounds like opposite. But what I am talking of is emotions of the past and expectation of *how* it should look or come together. Hope allows us to breathe and rest in the safety of expecting something good. In order for that to happen…that means working on like the office and while it is clean the results are far better than I hoped because I was willing to shift how to do things, keep in mind what was working and what was not, to let go of expected timelines, and discover what was beautiful all the way around.

As time goes on you will see how much I value both spontaneousness and organization. I *love* friends calling me out of the blue for coffee- I dislike triping over a mess on the floor that could have easily been put away. I enjoy creating and even making messes…but I do not particularly want to dig through four boxes to find supplies for creating. See the difference? What does this have to do with hope?

Well…in a very roundabout way its my way of stating be flexible for hoping for something and yet allowing a path for it work. Hope is above all things not idle.