There’s been a lot of intentional discussions in my family of late, particularly between us three ladies ( my mom, sister, and I) of how we want the atmosphere, organize the home, and beautify. We’ve landed in a solid, beautiful, and homely place that is such a gift. After traveling with mostly us three for a solid 2.5 years, we come to a place to put down roots again…at least for the year. We’ve gone from a big house over 4000 sq. ft., (our places during moves where anywhere from 1300-2500 sq. feet usually just the three of us) to a now small apartment (1049 sq. ft to be exact) darling apartment for the four of us.
It hasn’t been an easy journey, but it has been full of ease. Our schedules is as busy as ever and we have loved it. God gave us miracles, despite working with the human element of it. Gathering with friends as we were used to and heading to being able to host again has been such a gift. “Nesting” as many would call it has been an interesting journey, but one we’ve eagerly have been willing to experiment with.
Pinterest and Instagram have been chocked full of advice of “how to set the tone” for your home. No surprise. And as per usual when January through March, my ads have been aaaaalll about find “your match” and somehow sneaking into my inboxes. Blah and humbug. What the heck is wrong with being single? Full confession, I believe marriage is absolutely beautiful and sacred- my friends are mostly married and I’m glad of it- it has been a beautiful sharing life with married friends. What I wasn’t expecting was the rolling in of advice for marriage and how wives should treat their husbands. For me…I blanch because it rarely talks of each of them being *partners* and rather that it is all the wives fault if the husband doesn’t take responsibility for what is his to take care of or act in a manner that is grouchy. It seems to place responsibly all on the wife and not the husband- that’s what I blanche about. No….his actions, nor his triggers are anyones’s job to handle. Just as if I was a wife- he isn’t to be blamed for my actions nor walk on eggshells for my own triggers. God deals with those. Not to say there isn’t a work through, but at the end of the day we are to have self govern our thoughts, actions, and recognize the triggers then deal with them according to how the Holy Spirit leads. Both parties are responsible for what is theirs to set the tone and I do grant for the home ( from observation) women tends to ones who set tone of beauty, while men of the home gives strength and stability. Both are so very vital. I’m not giving husband/wife advice- that’s out of my wheelhouse. I do recognize despite being single *bad* relationship advice- plus this can be applied to any relationships. We can regardless of what kind of relationship we have- give another person at the very least a basic level of respect that lets them know we at least see them. An example: greeting them when they come to do the door, pausing the video when someone enters the room, and simply being mindful of them. The little touches that brightens someone’s day in a healthy way.
I’m sure you’re asking, what the heck does this have to do with setting the tone. I grant you that it is a bit of a rabbit hole, but not much of a stretch. One of the advice was to greet the man of the house when he comes home from work, and to make the place pleasing to him. Not bad advice for whomever works outside the home. But it hit me as we were talking of how to make our home pleasing, that that needed a tweak. Not that we can’t be mindful of each other, but there really is one that it needs to be all about. When we make it all about Him, then the rest will follow into a beautiful rhythm to our hearts, soul, and body. I’m sure there’s a better way of saying that, but it is as close as I can come.
Instead, of making it about the man of the house or the women of the home. What if we made it about the Holy Spirit? What if we cultivated it being a place where the Holy Spirit loves to resides? What if we watch guard the place we live taking into consideration of what we read, watch, plan, invite, and speak? How we intentionally brought in beauty and cut out the clutter of mind, physical, and spiritual? What if we were so intentional of hearing His voice that there was an overflow of His spirit within us. So much so that not only for those living in this space are impacted, but those before *even* reaching the porch could sense Him?
When we make it about Him, there are natural progression of knowing how to love others in ways that are holy and righteous. They if living in such a home, they are being drawn to Him can’t help, but long to be “home”. That this becomes a place of refuge, a place of being, and a place of girding oneself up. Instead, of making it about ourselves- what if we were conscious of Him? When it becomes about Him, praise and thanksgiving becomes a mantle of the home. When it becomes about Him, miracles are daily seen (big and small). When it becomes about Him, refreshments and strength are added. When it becomes about Him, our capabilities of exercising faith increases. When it becomes about Him, there is rest and peace because He resides within. When it becomes about Him, our battles are fought under HIS yoke. When it becomes about Him, the weight of what is ours is light, and we recognize what isn’t ours to carry and surrender a bit more easily to Him.
What if? My friends? No matter whose home it is- married, singles, or having a bunch of flatmates (hello expensive living!), we don’t make it all about ourselves? He know each one of our needs, wants, and dreams, what makes a space feel homey or a home. What if we make it about Him? I am NOT saying don’t do pratical things, nor am I saying there might not be hard conversations. I am saying what if during all those things He is the main reason why we do what we do in our homes?